Rainbow After the Rain

Have you ever felt that you wanted something so badly, but no matter how hard you try, it just seems to get further away from your grasp? I have. For the past week or so I've been struggling with these thoughts in my head. That I'm not good enough. I don't think I can make it. It was frustrating.

I was angry at myself & it came to a point that I was disappointed with God. I've found that the Bible includes detailed accounts of people sorely disappointed with God. Job & Moses had it out with God, as did Habakkuk, Jeremiah, & many of the unnamed psalmists. The psalmists do not rationalize anger or give abstract advice about pain; rather they express emotions vividly & loudly, directing their feelings primarily at God. The anguished conclusion of Psalm 88 provides ample evidence. From them I learn to bring to God whatever I feel about Him. I need not paper over my failures; it's far better to bring my weaknesses to Him, who alone has the power to heal.

I've always wondered, why do people cry when they win? Watch any contest, Miss Universe, American Idol, etc... It's just silly to cry. Shouldn't they be happy that they won? Today I experienced it for the first time, tears of joy. I just sat there & cried. Thinking of everything I went through. Remembering that He was there, carrying me through my darkest hour. I just felt so relieved & thankful. The journey hasn't ended just yet, there's still a long way to go. But I know He'll be there, holding my hand. I worship a God of miracles!